A Breath Of Fresh Air

The gentle breeze from the noon air captured Charlotte as she rode in the drop-top convertible. This day wasn't like any other day she'd experienced.  No. Today was like a breath of fresh air, and it wasn't just because of the cool breeze. Charlotte's old car was not getting the job done. Although she didn't have to worry about a car note, it was costing her more than it was worth. She knew that it was time to trade in the old clunker for something she could depend on. Charlotte was mesmerized by the ride of this luxury car.  The leather seats, the color, the smell, but most of all, the ride was amazing. While she was enjoying the ride, she thought about the cost of this newly found luxury. Things like, insurance and maintenance, could be allotted for by eliminating other expenses that were not necessities. She smiled and said to herself, "It's worth the sacrifice!" After counting the cost of this new, expensive but refreshing ride, she tells the salesman, "I'll take it!" She no longer had to worry about the old clunker breaking down on her...... She knew she had chosen a winner!

Can you remember that first moment that you accepted Christ into your heart? You knew you had chosen THE winner.  It was like a breath of fresh air! When Jesus showed up, your weariness became rest, your sadness became joy and your emptiness became fullness! The bible says, "Come, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and You will find rest for your souls" (Matthew 11:28-29). He promised us rest for our souls when we come to Him. I don't know about you, but, I'm glad I traded in my old clunker.  In exchange, I got a breath of fresh air, that comes from riding on the wings of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

What's Hiding In Your House?

Two orphans, Leta and Darnell, were siblings who were constantly on the move.  It seemed as though they would never find that perfect home.  In the last month they had moved a total of six times. Why didn't anyone want them? What were they doing that was so wrong? They decided they would run away. They did not want to run the risk of being separated and they were tired of moving.  They wanted a place where they could permanently live.  That night while all the other orphans slept, they decided to make their move. "Leta", Darnell whispered.  Not getting a response, he whispered again softly, "Leta, wake up.  It's time." Now awake, Leta whispers, "Okay, I'm up."  The two make a clean get away. They come to a house that looks to be empty. It was spotless and no furniture was there. It looked as if someone was about to move in but hadn't made it yet.  Looking around, Darnell says, "We can lodge here, it's empty." They entered a room they thought no one would look even if they moved into the house. "What if someone moves in and finds us? What will we do then?" asks Leta. In deep thought, Darnell answers, "We will try to befriend them. It is unlikely that they will find us in here; this room is well hidden." For a very long time, the two hid in this one small room.  One day, someone saw them and alerted the owners.  After giving a detailed description of the two, the residents knew exactly who they were.  Their faces had been all over the news.  "Leta and Darnell, we know you are in there.  Come on out!" the voice said.  The two quietly surrendered; they had been caught.

Just as these two orphans traveled from home to home, so does demonic spirits. Demonic spirits can hide in people just as these orphans in the story hid themselves in physical houses. Our bodies are the spiritual houses that demonic spirits can take residence. We must understand, although a demonic spirit has been evicted, it can come back to take residence again. The bible says, "When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it.  Then it says, I will return to the house I left.  And when it comes, it finds it swept and put in order. Then it goes and takes along seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first"(Luke 11:25-26). A person can be influenced by a demonic spirit and not even know it. They may not understand why they are doing some of the things that they are doing. This is one reason it is important to have spiritual discernment, live a pure and holy life, and walk in the authority He has given to you. The very presence of Jesus made the devils tremble. Luke 4:33 reads: "Let us alone! What business do we have with each other, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who You are--the Holy One of God!" These demonic spirits don't want to leave! They wish to take permanent residence in your house. This man would have been simply looked at as unclean and would not have been admitted in the synagogue; there is a chance he probably crept in unseen. Has a demonic spirit crept in your house without your knowledge? You may want to ask: What's hiding in my basement?

Helpful resources:

Beautiful in His eyes

Linda and Renee had been friends for over 15 years.  They helped each other through some difficult times.  Both girls had gone through so much and had low self-esteem.  Linda was very petite with a beautiful complexion.  She was greatly admired by many because of her outer beauty. However, Renee was not as admired as Linda.  Renee, was more on the heavy side, her hair was coarse and she had a very dark complexion.  Although, both girls had gone through a lot and their self-esteem was hanging on by a limb, Renee began seeking help.  She tried to get Linda to go too, but she refused. Linda, although outwardly beautiful, was torn up in the inside. The girls eventually separated and it was many years before they saw each other again.

Seven years had since passed, and Linda was still going through the same old thing. Renee on the other hand, was married and was living a rather decent life. God had blessed abundantly and she wanted for nothing. One day the girls bumped into each other.  Looking in amazement Linda says, “Renee?”  Renee looking around unable to recognize her once best friend, replied, “Linda?”  Linda answers, “Yes.  It’s me, Linda.”  The girls leapt with joy to have found each other after all of these years.  Renee invites Linda for a cup of coffee so they can catch up.

“Renee, you have really changed…..you are so…”

Interrupting her sentence, Renee replies, “Much smaller”?

“W-ell….yes.” Linda replied.  “How did you do it?  I mean you look so good!”

“Well I started going to church and learning God’s word.  I found out that God loves me and I wanted to see myself how He sees me.”

“And that made you lose over 100 pounds and keep it off?” Linda asks

“Well it goes a little further than that.  I had to begin to confess His word over my life, Linda.” Renee says.

“And…that word was…?” asks Linda.

“First of all, He says that I am beautifully and wonderfully made.  I begin to put this scripture on index cards and place them all over my house.  Each morning I woke, I confessed that I was beautifully and wonderfully made. I hated to look in the mirror at myself, but I had to.  I wanted to be delivered from this mindset.  It didn't matter what anyone else said, I believed what God said.  The more I confessed, the more I believed.  I began to love myself at 260 pounds, so that I could love myself where I am now, 130 pounds.  I didn't lose the weight for looks but for health reasons.  This is His temple and I must take care of it.  I couldn't care less what anyone thinks of the way I look.”

“Wow!  Thank God you don’t look like what you've been through, huh?” Linda replies.

“Linda, you do know that you too can be set free, right?” Renee compassionately asks.

Hesitating and then sighs, Linda replies, “I've done things, Renee…that..”

Interrupting her gently, “It doesn't matter what you've done!  I've done things too.  Listen to me, there is nothing that you could ever do that would make God love you any less.  He loves you in spite of you!  He knows what you were going to do before you did it.  He loves you still.”

With tears in her eyes, Linda replies, “Really?  Can He love someone like me?  After all the wrong I've done?”

Tears rolling from her eyes, Renee shakes her head, smiles and replies, “Yes!  Yes He can, and He does!  You are the reason He hung, died and bled at Calvary.  He specifically had you on His mind!”

Embracing each other in joy, Linda asks, “Would it be okay if I went to church with you?”

Rejoicing, Renee replied, “We would love to have you.  By all means, please come!”

“I feel as though a load has been lifted off of me, Renee. Linda says.

Walking down the street together, Renee replies, “I know.  Our father is a burden bearer!”

The bible talks about Leah and Rachael, how one was loved but the other was hated.  No matter what Leah did, she still was not loved. The bible says that when God saw that she was unloved, He opened up her womb (Genesis 29:31). Could it be that you are hated and God is opening up your womb? That word womb means a place where something is conceived.  That means that eventually you have to give birth! Ladies, It doesn't matter if you are 260 pounds or 160 pounds, God loves you.  Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.  If you are not happy with yourself at 260 pounds you won’t be happy with yourself at 160 pounds.  Read, understand, meditate and confess what God word says about you. Conceive and birth this word: God loves you and you are B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L in His eyes!

Are you accredited?

As Brianna starred out of the lightly frosted window, she could hear her father's words ringing in her ear, "Make sure they are accredited, otherwise, they will be giving you wooden nickels!" She didn't understand why her father kept telling her that, until she did some research. Now, the time had come when she had to put all of her good researching and dad's good advice to use. She was so deep in thought that she couldn't hear anything around her. "Ms. Phoenix", the secretary softly said.  Brianna continued starring out the window, unmoved by the soft, yet very close voice, calling her name. "Ms. Phoenix," the secretary repeated. Finally, she walked over to Brianna and gently shook her.  Brianna, looked around to see this middle-aged lady standing exactly 4 ft. tall, standing by her saying, "Mr. Banks, will see you now." Brianna smiled and replied, "Thank you."  Brianna received many offers from a variety of colleges and this was her last interview.  Brianna, although very young, was very attentive.  She could see that Mr. Banks, was the type of man that could talk the sweetness from a gingerbread! She could see why, he was extremely handsome and charming, which gave him an advantage over most people.

"Ms. Phoenix, please come in and have a seat. How are you this morning?” he asks.

“I’m doing fine. How are you?" she replies.

“Never been better! Brianna, we have looked over your qualifications, and we are very pleased that you have considered us as one of your choices. I want to let you know, we are an accredited school, and I feel that we can definitely help you achieve your career goals.” he says.
“When you say that you are accredited, does that mean that my credits are transferable?” she asks. She wanted to see if he would be honest enough to tell her the truth.  She'd already thoroughly researched their university and knew that the credits would not transfer. Looking at her in a slyly, he replies,
“Well, transferring of credits is not something that you should be focused on right now, Brianna. Brilliant as you are, you can easily land any job that you want with a degree from here. So, you see, transferring of credits is not of utmost importance, but landing that right job is. This is where we are beneficial to you. We equip you for and help get you into your dream job.”
Brianna replies, "Well, Mr. Banks, I beg to differ! Accreditation is a big deal, especially as it relates to the funding, my career goals and my future. Since I am going into the law field, the accreditation of your school is vitally important. It can be the difference between enabling and disabling me from taking my bar exam. So, you see, Mr. Banks, accreditation is a very big deal. Furthermore, I do not feel that your school fits my needs. I do appreciate your time.” She winks as she extends her hand towards, Mr. Banks, before exiting his office. She felt good about her decision to go with another school.  Mr. Banks, may have been able to talk the sweetness from a gingerbread, just not this one!

Accreditation is a big deal in your spiritual walk too. That word accreditation simply means a process of validation. In Acts 2:22, the scripture says, “Men of Israel, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. That's right, Jesus was accredited by God. Another example of this is in Acts 9:13-15, which reads: “But Ananias answered, Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much harm he did to Your saints at Jerusalem; and here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on Your name. But the Lord said to him, Go, for he is a chosen instrument of Mine, to bear My name before the Gentiles and kings and the sons of Israel.” Although he had the authority from the chief priests to carry out one mission, it couldn't override the accreditation that God had for him to do another mission. God referred to him as a “chosen instrument of Mine”! Now that’s what I call a true accreditation! So, I ask the question: Are you accredited? Who is your accreditation with? Is it with God? Or is it with man?

A Special Thanks To My Sideline Haters

"Sideline haters are those  who are in or from a position in which they are observing a situation, but are unable or unwilling to be directly involved in it."

There are 3 types of people that you will come into contact with during your walk with God. First, you have those that make things happen. These are the diligent people with a made up mind that going backwards, is not an option. They will do whatever it takes to get the job done, even if it mean doing it all by themselves. Next are those that watch things happen. These are the ones who never want to participate in anything, they just wish to see you fail at what you are doing so that they will have something to talk about. They are also the ones that are sent to distract, discredit, discourage and derail your progress. Lastly, are those who ask what happened! I call them the "sleepwalkers". These are the ones who are not attentive to the things of God, they are just there; spiritually disconnected. Nehemiah was an example of those that made things happen. One obstacle that Nehemiah faced, was what I call the "sideline haters". Nehemiah 2:19 reads: "But when Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the servant, the Ammonite, and Geshem the Arab heard of it, they laughed us to scorn and despised us and said, What is this thing you are doing? Will you rebel against the king?" This was a sideline hater in the worst way. Nehemiah says, "I answered them, The God of heaven will prosper us; therefore we His servants will arise and build, but you have no portion or right or memorial in Jerusalem." These haters just kept on coming, but Nehemiah kept on working.


Please understand, when you are on a mission for God, the devil gets mad and indignant when you are diligent! Nehemiah 4:1-3 reads: "But it so happened, when Sanballat heard that we were rebuilding the wall, that he was furious and very indignant, and mocked the Jews. And he spoke before his brethren and the army of Samaria, and said, “What are these feeble Jews doing? Will they fortify themselves? Will they offer sacrifices? Will they complete it in a day? Will they revive the stones from the heaps of rubbish; stones that are burned?” Now Tobiah the Ammonite was beside him, and he said, “Whatever they build, if even a fox goes up on it, he will break down their stone wall.” Now they are trying to discourage Nehemiah and his crew from doing their work.
You see, sideliners are those who are in or from a position in which they are observing a situation but are unable or unwilling to be directly involved in it. Do you know someone like that? If they can't be a part of something, whether it's because they are unwilling or unable to, they want to see your efforts fail. Nehemiah handled his sideline haters by praying for them. How will you handle yours? The next time you see your haters on the sideline, just give them a love wave. Remember, these are your supporters, because no one can encourage and motivate you like a sideline hater!

Spiritually Constipated

Abbey and her father had just returned home from dinner and a movie.  John noticed how his daughter was just laying around the house doing nothing.  She looked weak and feeble but assured him that it was nothing.  After three days of not eating, only consuming liquids, John decided to take Abbey to the doctor to see what was going on with her.  It was not his daughter’s character to sit around the house and do nothing.

Doctor: “Abbey, are you hurting anywhere?”

Abbey:  “Well….my stomach hurts a little, but it’s nothing too bad.”

Doctor: “When was the last time you had a bowel movement?”

Abbey: “Ummm…..I believe it was about five days ago.”

Doctor: “Oh, I see. Well, we will do an x-ray of your stomach to see if something serious is going on. Okay?”

Abbey:  “Okay.”

Doctor: “Mr. Thomas, it looks as though Abbey is constipated.  It’s a good thing that you brought her in when you did.  This situation could have resulted in something far more critical!  Abbey has been eating far too many sweets.  I will need for you to help her adopt a healthier eating lifestyle.”

John:  “Thank you, doctor! I never knew that constipation could cause these type of problems. Wow!”

Doctor: “Yes.  Constipation occurs when the bowels are not regularly pushing waste out, the entire digestive system can become backed up and unhealthy. Waste stays in our bodies longer, and becomes sticky and hardened along the intestinal wall, and, overtime, starts to fester and enlarge intestinal pores, letting toxins enter our blood stream. Any longer and it would have caused an infection.”

Just as we can get constipated naturally, we can also become constipated spiritually.  Oftentimes, we continue to pile mess on top of mess, causing our digestive system to become backed up.  This mess could be unconfessed sin, not reading your bible, not praying, weights, or a number of other things.  If you go long periods of time without reading your bible, praying or fellowshipping with other believers, you are starving your spirit of the nutrients it requires to maintain a healthy balance. In order to have a relationship with someone, there has to be communication.  The bible says that we are to worship God in Spirit and in truth.  Worship is not just a Sunday experience, but an everyday experience with God.  We are to worship Him in how we live our lives and by spending time with Him.  What are you doing in your free time? Does God come first or the television?  Does God come first or the internet? Does God comes first or talking on your cell phone?  The problem for me was a little sleep, a little slumber!  All of these things, if not used in moderation, can eventually constipate you spiritually.  The bible says, “All things are lawful, but not all things are beneficial” (I Corinthians 10:23).  Although it wasn't a sin for me to sleep, too much sleep didn't benefit my walk with Christ. The bible says to WATCH and pray; you can’t watch if you are sleep all day! 

What’s pumping in your heart?

Today, It seems as though everyone is out to get on your nerves, speak death into your life, or step on your toes with the spirit of excellence! Forgiveness is one of those things that is a struggle for most of us. We are, however, commanded to forgive those who have trespassed against us. In Matthew 18:21, Peter asked Jesus how many times are we to forgive our brother or sister who has sinned against us. In verse 22, Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Let’s be honest, that’s not really something that a lot of us want to hear. Sometimes we want to hear, “They did you wrong and you have every right to hold a grudge.” This is contrary to the word of God, because God said we are to forgive. Well, how do we position ourselves to forgive a person that continues to transgress against us? The only thing that helped me was the act of prayer. First, I had to change my mind about some things and decide that I did not want to harbor unforgiveness in my heart. Then I had to pray for the person. This was not easy for me because I struggled with this for many years. Sometimes you have to faith it until you make it! Don’t be deceived, unforgiveness is a spiritual poison that will bring death to the body if it’s not excreted. By all means necessary, excrete this poison from your system before it reaches your heart. If you think about the way our body functions, the heart pumps blood and this blood travels throughout the body. Leviticus 17:11 reads:“For the life of the flesh is in the blood.” So if you have this poison pumping to the vital organs of your body, what do think will happen? The poison that is flowing through your body will eventually shut the major organs down. The bible says we are to guard our hearts. That’s why is of utmost importance to make up your mind and forgive everyone that has trespassed against you. We all have stepped on someone’s toes in our lives. I sure have. Be encouraged and do it God’s way and forgive, because forgiveness is for you! Examine yourselves and ask the question: What’s pumping in my heart?

Lord, I'm struggling!

Have you ever felt as if you were in a web and just couldn't seem to break loose?  The harder you tried to free yourself from the web, the more you entangled yourself.  This may be because you were trying to do it on your own.  There is nothing that we can do without God. You may think that you accomplished this and you accomplished that.  You may even think that you are so strong that you can take on anything. God has a way of gently tugging on us to let us know that He is the source of our strength.  The bible says that we can do all things through Christ, who strengthens us.  It doesn’t say we can do all things by ourselves.  Sometimes God will allow things to happen in our lives to remind us that we need Him.  The children of Israel continued to complain and complain about not having a king.  They didn't want to hear that they already had a King; God.  What did God do?  He sent them a king.

“So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah. They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.”

God wanted Israel to see that He was all they needed.  God performed many miracles for Israel. He fought battles for them, fed them manna and they still could not see that He was everything they needed. Israel found themselves in a web that only He could get them out of.  Do you feel that you are entangled in a situation that seems impossible to get free from? It doesn't matter what you are going through, there is nothing that God cannot bring you out. If He brought the children of Israel out of their Egypt, He will surely do the same for you today. 

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Struggling 

Lord I been struggling for so long,

Entangled and bound in a web of wrong,

Although I’m entangled in a world of sin,

Lord I can’t stay down I was born to win,

Every time I get up satan knock me down,

Lord please help me because I want my crown,

I’m tired of the devil telling these lies,

Lord I know you’ll hear the righteous cries,

In spite of my sins, Lord you remain true,

That’s why it’s so hard for me to leave you,

Lord I feel so bad for what I have done,

For this purpose Lord, you sent your son,

To walk this earth and to do your will,

Oh Lord teach your children how to be still,

All I ever wanted was to make you proud,

Lord I should have known three was a crowd,

Lord I been struggling, struggling I've been,

Lord please don’t let me die in this life of sin,

The devil don’t love me, Lord he don’t care,

Lord I know I left you but I don’t know where,

Lord I stand before you with a broken heart,

And In exchange, I get a new start!

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Savoring the fruits of freedom

Women of Faith, the most important thing to understand is how much God loves you. It was only after this revelation that many of the chains holding me fell off. We sing songs all the time that declares God’s love for us, but how many of us are actually meditating on it? The word meditate means “to reflect.” Instead of us reflecting on all the bad things that people have done to us, we should reflect on God’s love for us. When we began reflecting on things that we should not be reflecting on, this gives the devil a foot hole to come in and take us hostage in our own minds. One of the biggest lies that the enemy will tell you is that God doesn’t love you. The most opportune time for the devil to do this is when you lose something or someone. The truth of the matter is, it’s the exact opposite; God loves you that much. In fact the bible declares that He loves you so much that He wants you to be free. 

“I have indeed seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free.” (Acts 7:34) 

Women of Faith, regardless of what your Egypt is, God can set you free. Most importantly, our freedom was so important to Him that He came down to set us free. If your Egypt is depression, low self-esteem, fear, or an addiction to something, God can deliver you if you want Him to. The people were groaning or lamenting as an indication they no longer wanted to be under this yoke. That’s what you must decide; that you wish to be free
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~Prayer~

Father, we bless your holy name. We thank you for loving us so much that you sent your only begotten son to die on the cross for our sins. Father, we ask right now that you would open our eyes to see that by the precious blood of your son Jesus, we are set free. It is your will, father that we are free from everything that holds us bound. We receive our freedom right now from depression, suicidal thoughts, low self -esteem, lust, soul ties, fear, rejection and pride, in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

I pray this poem will encourage you to embrace the freedom that God has given you. God gave all He had so that you could be free, so why don’t you give it all you have to embrace that gift of freedom that He has given to you. 

“If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36, KJV) 

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~Embrace Your Freedom~

Woman of God, let your freedom ring,

From the highest mountains, let your freedom sing,

Oh woman of God thou art loosed,

Eating of the fruit that freedom produced,

Embracing all the riches that freedom gives,

By loving on a savior who surely lives,

Freedom is a wind that blows your tears,

And a mighty warrior defeating your fears,

Freedom is a light in a dark, dark room,

Freedom is hope in a situation of doom,

So go ahead woman of God and embrace your freedom,

Because you, my dear, are getting FIT for the kingdom!

~April Pipkins

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Do I have Faith?

Have you ever been instructed by God to do something that seemed so crazy that you knew when you did it people would laugh at you? I remember when God instructed me to pack all of my belongings, although I didn’t have anywhere to go. I packed every piece of clothing that my kids and I owned and put them in large garbage bags.  My mother laughed at me and called me crazy.  She not only laughed at me but she called my aunt over and they both laughed at me.  They had one question to ask me: “Where are you going?”  I simply replied, “I don’t know yet.” All I knew was that God told me to pack my belongings, and that is exactly what I did.  God also sent confirmation through someone that knew nothing about what I was doing. In a few months, I was blessed with my own place and was already packed! All I had was a word from God, and that’s really all that we need!  Mark 4:16 reads, “And these are they by the way side, where the word is sown; but when they have heard, Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word that was sown in their hearts.” This is exactly what happened, as soon as I received the word from God, the devil came IMMEDIATELY to try to make me doubt what God said. You won’t always understand why God is telling you to do something. The word that God gives you must be important if the devil gets on the case immediately. Why?  Because the Bible says, “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”  It didn’t say our word but the Word of God. Have you ever watched an action movie where there is fighting going on, and someone drops their weapon and both fighters try to prevent the other one from getting to it?  The reason is that, they know that weapon can be used against them. If used correctly, that weapon can cause death. It’s the same with our adversary, he is trying to prevent us from getting to our weapon! He knows that it will dismantle his plans for us.  2 Corinthians 2:11 reads: “Lest Satan Should get an advantage of us, for we are not ignorant of his devices.”  The best thing you can do in any battle is to know your opponent.  When you understand the strategies of your adversary, you’ll understand that he will use those closest to you.  Charlotte Bronte, quotes:  “I can be on guard against my enemies, but God deliver me from my friends!”  It’s dangerous when you don’t understand that the devil don’t care WHO he uses to take you out. In John 6:70, Jesus says: “Have I not chosen you twelve and yet one of you is a devil?" That's bold! An enemy who will have a seat and break bread with you, knowing they are plotting to take you out.  Jesus was aware that Judas would betray Him, because He knew the devil's devices and He knew His purpose.  In Mark 6:4-5, Jesus was unable to perform any miracles, not because He couldn't, but because of the people's disbelief. That’s right, a lot of times when the devil wants to kill you, steal from you, or to destroy you, he’ll use the one closer to you than most…. YOU!  

Wifey: The role or the part?

As a young girl my mom always told me, if I kept myself, a man would respect me more.  Well, that had a very vague meaning in the mind of a young teenage girl but once I became a woman, I understood. This word respect went farther than that man still being with you after your promiscuity.  The definition for respect is: “A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.” In order for someone to have a feeling of deep admiration for you, it would take time for that feeling to really take root.  The first time that my ex-husband grabbed me and choked me while I was pregnant, was evident that he had no such admiration for me.  Where did I go wrong?  Didn’t he know that I was a good woman?  I mean after all I was carrying his child.  It was at this point that I realized that maybe there was more to this respect factor after all.  The truth of the matter is that most women are looking for something in a man first that should be first sought from God. Our priorities are twisted.  You won’t know how a man is supposed to treat you, unless the one who constituted the union of marriage give you a tour first. There may be a mindset that has to be changed before God can give you what He has for you, otherwise, you won’t be able to keep it.  It seemed as though every time I looked around, I didn’t have a man.  What?  I am doing everything to show this man what a good woman I am, so where am I going wrong? I said God why can’t I keep a man?  Am I not good enough?  Am I doing something wrong?  One day, God asked me, “Why are you playing a role you don’t have the part to?  You cook, clean, have sex with this man and do all those things that a wife would do.  Yet you are not his wife!”  I must be honest, I didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or just plain ashamed.  A role is defined as: The function assumed or part played by a person or thing in a particular situation; A part is defined as: Some but not all of something. The bible says: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.”  The bible did not say “girlfriends” submit to your “boyfriend”, but “wives” submit to your husbands.  I want to encourage you that if you are single don’t play a role unless you have been given the part, or as the world would put it, unless you have a ring on it!  

Are you staying in your lane?

As a young girl, Lisa never had a stable relationship with her father.  She reached out to her father, but he was busy doing other things and didn't have time for her. Her mother was living off of welfare and was doing all that she knew how to do to survive. Later, Lisa's mom met and married an older gentleman who took her kids and raised them as his own.  Lisa was rebellious against him because she desired attention from her natural father. Lisa's rebellion became very overwhelming and she insisted on going to live with her biological father.  Lisa's stepfather and mother agreed and took her to her father. Her father did not want Lisa to live with him and sent her away.  

As a result of the broken relationship between Lisa and her father, she developed bitterness in her heart towards him.  She wouldn't talk to him or have anything to do with him for years. Lisa grew up and had kids of her own.  Like her mother, she married her first son's father, but later divorced and had another son out of wedlock. Now, Lisa has two sons that she is raising without a father present in their lives.

This is a result of doing things out of the divine order of God.  Ladies, It has always been God's will for a household to have two parents.  I didn't say it, God said it!  The enemy has convinced us that we should continue to birth children out of wedlock and do things OUR way and not God's way.  You can do it your way, but it'll never work YOUR way.  It's more pleasant to do it God's way. We are tearing our children up by adopting a mindset of, "I don't need a man!  I can do it by myself."  No! Stop allowing the devil to deceive you with his lies. It is God's divine will that a man be the head of the household. There are some things that a man can teach a child that we can't.  A young girl needs her father to tell her how beautiful she is and how a man should treat her.  A young boy needs that father figure in his life to direct him in the paths of manhood.  It's true! I like the way my pastor says it, "It's tight, but it's right!"

Now, there can be a man who is present in the household but is not taking the leadership role that he should be taking.  This is a problem.  If the woman is the head of a household and a man is present, that household is out of order! I want to point out a few things in Genesis: 

• God created the man first
• He made the woman from the rib of the man
• He gave the instructions to Adam and not Eve

Now here's the problem that is still going on today:

• The serpent is still talking to the woman and we are allowing him to beguile us
• The woman is still eating the fruit of lies and the men are standing by allowing it
• The men are blaming the women and the women are blaming the serpent 

Why do you think God asked the man the first question? Well, that's who he entrusted His instructions to. Oftentimes, we miss the part where the bible says that the man was with the woman.  He was supposed to stand on the word of God, period. I really believe that she would have followed suit; that's my opinion.  I'm just saying.... Runners take your mark!